ESP Riff Of The Day Toilet Paper

Did you realize that the average person will spend an entire year on the toilet over the course of their whole lifetime? Don’t you wish that you could use that precious time to be more productive, rather than just wasting it getting bogged down in your social media feeds?

Well, urine luck!

Turn your bathroom into a practice room with the new riff of the day toilet paper from ESP Guitars!

E.S.Poo Riff Of The Day Toilet Paper

Improve your chops while you make your plops with a roll of ESP’s riff-infused toilet paper. Each and every sheet contains one well-known riff or lick in tablature form which can be easily learned in the time it takes to answer the call of nature.

Guitar Riff Toilet Paper

Fill two needs with one deed!

The Japanese guitar giant has had a slight rebrand to help separate its latest endeavor from their instrument range. I think ESPoo is pretty clever, cos you know, ESPee would probably have gotten a butt confusing.

Hundreds Of Riffs Per Roll!

All of your favorite bands and artists are present and accounted for! Here’s just a small selection of the hundreds of songs included within a roll of ESPoo Toilet Paper!

  • Iron Maiden – The Pooper
  • Metallica – Turd The Page
  • Extreme – Hole Farted
  • Velvet Revolver – Fall To Feces
  • Dream Theater – Under An Ass Moon
  • Limp Bizkit – Dookie
  • Rush – Closer To The Fart
  • CKY – 96 Quite Bitter Peeings
  • Red Hot Chili Poopers – Under The Bridge
  • Twisted Cistern – We’re Not Gonna Take It
  • Andrew WC – Farty Hard

Absorb a new tune every time you visit the porcelain throne. At over 200 songs per roll, you’ll be flush with riffs in no time at all! You’ll never hit a bum note again…

Clean As A Whistle

Worried about hygiene? The good news is that there’s no need to dump your guitar strings after a bathroom sesh. Every sheet has been impregnated with antibacterial lemon oil so that you can safely clean down your guitar when done.

Plus it’ll leave your nether-regions smelling lemony-fresh. ESPoo really thought of everything with this product!

Order Today, Only At LeftyFretz!

Be the number one (or at least number two) riff-master out of all of your friends! You’ll wipe the floor with everyone…

Can’t wait to see what ESPoo comes up with next!

For more information:
ESP Guitars Website

P.S April Fools! But you got that, right?

Check Out My Previous April Fools Jokes

If my toilet humor was a little too much for you, then you may prefer my previous efforts…